What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize