my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize