needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
