Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
