you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
