Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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