we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize