You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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