gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
