sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
