how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
