The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
