no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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