Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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