Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
