We're facebook friends in real life
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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