Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
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She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
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The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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