bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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