i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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