True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
