If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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