Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
