It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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