shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
