Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.