Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.