i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
