I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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