I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize