I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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