I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sorry my hands just texted you
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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