i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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