Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
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After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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