I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize