Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize