he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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