question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
