i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
