I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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