i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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