I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
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i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
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I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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