I could have mohawked her pubes.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.