Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?

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  (269): Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not? http://tfl.nu/k8n6
  Replies (37) Good night (3211) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.

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  (805): just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you. http://tfl.nu/8wpn
  Replies (7) Good night (1060) Bad night (3268) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.

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  (615): I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting. http://tfl.nu/31wc
  Replies (14) Good night (5780) Bad night (1253) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table

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  (773): i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table http://tfl.nu/1eyi
  Replies (5) Good night (2621) Bad night (1443) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.

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  (608): I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina. http://tfl.nu/zhac
  Replies (5) Good night (781) Bad night (2874) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight

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  (713): We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/owr2
  Replies (6) Good night (626) Bad night (4092) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You're like the curious george of whores

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  (512): You're like the curious george of whores http://tfl.nu/l01l
  Replies (5) Good night (3417) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.

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  (248): Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch. http://tfl.nu/snc7
  Replies (10) Good night (4598) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.

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  (617): I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis. http://tfl.nu/8mhm
  Replies (9) Good night (1566) Bad night (3874) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.

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  (231): Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail. http://tfl.nu/n6cf
  Replies (5) Good night (3563) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.

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  (574): We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head. http://tfl.nu/s37i
  Replies (14) Good night (1671) Bad night (369) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.

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  (206): If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/sboa
  Replies (15) Good night (1507) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting

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  (416): The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting http://tfl.nu/ap7m
  Replies (19) Good night (520) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.

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  (215): she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here. http://tfl.nu/hoyt
  Replies (8) Good night (777) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations

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  (413): Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations http://tfl.nu/s70c
  Replies (2) Good night (199) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt

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