wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.