im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.