Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner