she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
