So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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