Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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