Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
