is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize