This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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