i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize