meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize