Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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